I have been a certified grief counselor since 2003, and it has been my privilege to companion individuals and families as they journey through their landscape of loss - whether this is the death of a loved one, a debilitating injury, a divorce, a terminal illness or any other type of significant personal loss. If anything stands out to me above all else, it’s the vast difference in our culture’s understandings of grief and what my clients experience in their grief journeys. Our culture sees grief as a problem or condition to be fixed, a temporary unnatural state that that requires the grievers to get past in a “reasonable amount of time” so that life can return to normal.

Loss is universal. All of us are going to experience deep grief and loss at some point in our lives. A grief journey is unique to each individual, and there is no timetable, no correct or incorrect way to grieve. I’m sure we have all felt judged, misunderstood, shamed and corrected in our grief. I encourage my clients to see their grief as a natural response to death and loss, rather than an aberrant condition needing to be remedied. Grief is an experience to be tended, not a problem to be solved. When the focus is not on fixing your pain, but simply tending to it, a whole spectrum of support possibilities open up.

It allows us to have an honest, frank conversation of the realities of grief. You will have a safe place to let all your words out. There is freedom in being heard. By hearing yourself acknowledge just how much this hurts, you begin to honor yourself, your own experience, and your own broken heart. I collaborate with my clients to explore ways to live with grief, to carve out ways for pain and love to coexist. We can explore ways to come to yourself with kindness, to build upon what you already know about yourself, and find meaningful ways to live alongside your loss.